Half-Wit, Half-Cynicism and Full Revelation: a look into the deeper corners of internet exhaustion and empty brained moments
After hours of watching a rather emotional TV show and mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, I have reached a quite shocking revelation. Well, I’m not quite sure if it even is a revelation, for I haven’t figured it out yet. Perhaps that is exactly what I wanted to write about. You see, the very reason I'm writing this is that I need, very desperately need to get out of this funk. Now I am not necessarily blaming the lockdown for this, but I also am. Think of it this way, it is due to this unforeseen situation that we’re all been either having the best time of our lives or the absolute worst.
The reason why I haven't written anything in the last 6 months is that I haven't thought of anything. Okay, that last part might just be a tiny bit untrue — but the fact still remains! I’ve felt empty in the head for months, and even though that isn't really a clear sign of anything substantially wring, but it does indicate a lack of inspiration, motivation and all-round bum-ish-ness. Take right now for an example; I am very exhausted from doing nothing all day and really want to go to bed. It is currently 11:37 pm, and apart from the preconceived belief that all 21-year-olds must be doing something insanely interesting at this hour, I choose to sleep. Don't get me wrong here, I thoroughly enjoy writing and spilling my thoughts out for you, but that mostly never happens now because of the ack of said thoughts.
at this point, I am not entirely sure if it is the glare of my computer looking right at me with its disappointed hardware that is making me want to shut it with great force and go to bed like a nice little girl, or the way I’ve conditioned myself the past couple of months. I’m sure a lot of people go through this too, especially now, but then that would only drive my point home. Maybe even walk it to the front door and give it a big ol’ smooch. Personally, I think its quite natural to have had resorted to the sedentary life for champions (specifically those with high blood pressure). When a person is faced with not a lot of challenges and most needs fulfilled for them, they are bound to turn a corner and run toward their calling — rest. if you look at it under a broader light, humans run on patterns. If it weren’t for Netflix, we wouldn't be streaming TV shows all day, and so we wouldn’t enjoy the things we associate to Netflix. things like popcorn in bed, binge-watching, or even finding the perfect opening to casual sex, otherwise known as ‘Netflix and Chill’.
Statistically, Netflix has gained over 16 million subscribers in April alone, that was right at the beginning of the lockdown — 7 months ago. iPhone screen time reports form all over the world were through the roof! It was almost as if upon seeing these, people were in clear denial. This tells us about the prominence in the result of one simple shared situation we’re all in, and how it affects us in ways we initially couldn't even begin to understand. This clearly indicates (to me more than you, really) that I am not alone in this. Maybe the reason you’re reading this is that you feel the same way, and it's great. Well, either that or you’re madly in love with me and are too shy to admit. in that case, please go ahead — chances are, I'm too shy to say no to attention.
in our society, or at least among the people in their 20s, it has been observed that with every situation comes a moody myriad of phases. At the beginning of the lockdown, we seemed to be pretty miffed at the fact that all life should come at a halt suddenly because some phoney disease is lurking out there. Then came the acceptance stage, where we had to take it with a (rather large) pinch of salt that this is just how life is going to be for a long time now — this one actually reminds me of an angry middle child pointing their way into getting what they want, only to be graced with a straight-faced “NO!”, otherwise known as a ‘very valuable life lesson’. Soon after that, we reached one of our most significant stages, the one where we must always do something productive. This stage came waltzing in with the sheer (over)realization that we do, in fact, have a lot of time on our hands. Now, what do we do with this time, hmm… let's do EVERYTHING. If this isn’t classic overachiever behaviour, I don't know what is. And finally, when ALL this cleared out, we reached the “you know what, fuck it. YOLO” stage, where we just really-really accepted this and learnt to adapt. Well, some more than the others.
With all this happening, I suppose one can find themselves going loco. mostly in their own heads, but at this point in time, that seems like the safest option out there. Even though I started the article citing my dreadful experience with self-induced lethargy, I do feel better knowing that I am trying to push myself farther into where I see peace and comfort. I bury myself in pseudo witty words and half-cynical and half-lame jokes to feel more connected to the world as I found it, as I loved it. Sure, this world doesn’t quite smell the same, but the internet’s not all that bad. although, there is only one way to find out for sure.
